As a parent you are the BEST role model for your child. At Parwarish, we fundamentally belive in YOUR CHILD WILL NOT DO WHAT YOU SAY , BUT WILL DO WHAT HE SEES YOU DOING !
I’m not speaking about the obvious bad examples that many of us are guilty of setting from time to time–like when you scream at your 5-year-old to stop yelling at the help. Those mistakes are made in a moment of frustration, and good parents realize right away what they’ve done wrong. I’m actually refereing about the more nuanced ways we ignorantly sabotage the lessons we hope to teach.
Check out this scenario to find out whether you are also demonstratig something similar at home.
When you get home from work, you ask your child, “Tell me about your day.” This is a perfectly reasonable request. Of course you want to hear what happened during recess or at the playground –you enjoy your child’s stories and feel better connected to her when she lets you in on what’s going on in her life.
The bad example. You send the wrong message if you make this request while you’re busy getting dinner on the table, sorting the mail, or picking up toys in the living room. From your child’s point of view, this is what you’re saying: “Talk to me, but make it fast because we don’t have a lot of time. What I’m really interested in is getting this dinner prepared . . . or this mail opened . . . or this house cleaned up.”
You also send a mixed message when you ask your child to tell you about her day but say nothing about yours. That may be why you’re getting one of those infamous responses that drive parents crazy: “Nothing,” “fine,” “not much.”
The better way. Kids love to have a parent’s undivided attention, at least for a little while. Carve out some time when you can put aside chores, sit down with your child, look at her, ask about her day, and listen as if nothing else in the world matters more. Doing so will let her know that you’re truly available. In addition, always try to tell her something about your day. When you volunteer a bit of information about yourself, two things happen: First, you show your child that when the family is together, it’s a nice time for everyone to share their news. Second, your own story may jog your child’s memory, and you might suddenly hear about how two kids got into an argument during lunch or how the teacher was in a grouchy mood and yelled. Like magic, when you open up, your child does too.